GOODBYE TO PERFECTION, HELLO TO THE GOOD LIFE
WHAT IS A PERFECTIONIST?
AND ARE YOU ONE?
HI, I'M CRYSTAL
AND I'M A RECOVERING PERFECTIONIST
At Perfectaholic, we believe that deep down, most perfectionists are simply out to prove their worth. Prove that they are successful. Prove that they are attractive and desirable. Prove that they can manage everything that is on their plates – perfectly. The list goes on and on. For most perfectionists there is a deep-seated fear — fear that they’re not good enough and that others will reject or abandon them. As a result, they continue the toxic habits of people-pleasing, over-achieving, and perfecting.
The time has come for us to live our lives in the vibrant and wonderful uncertainty of imperfection. At Perfectaholic, we believe that you should say goodbye to perfection and hello to the good life.
You can learn more about what we believe by reading our manifesto HERE.
A BREAKUP LETTER TO PERFECTION
I have been dreading writing you this letter. Not because I didn’t want to write it but because I knew that by writing it, I was finally letting go of you and a part of me. By writing this letter to breakup with you I am also writing this letter to breakup with myself, at least a part of myself that no longer serves me. I am going to have to grieve the parts of me that I have outgrown and there is nothing scarier than burying parts of you while the rest of you is still living.
But here I am so here it goes.
Perfection you and I have been best friends for as long as I can remember. I honestly don’t know myself without you and never imagined that I would have to. There are so many things you have given me. You have pushed me to be a hard worker, dragged me out of the bed when I didn’t have the energy to keep going and kept my standards high when I wanted to give up and settle. For all of this I say thank you as I am truly grateful for the ways you elevated my life.
But with all of the positive things you did in my life there were just as many negative ones. Perfection you paralyzed me with a fear of failure, preventing me from making progress in many areas of my life because I was afraid to fail. You kept me hidden, never fully being comfortable to shine as bright as I could or show who I was because I thought people would judge me and my choices. You kept me in a constant loop of needing to be needed. I based my worth on constantly going above and beyond for people who had no intentions of doing the same for me. I allowed people to use my kindness because I was afraid they wouldn’t love me if I wasn’t “perfect” Crystal who never said no, who was always there.
To add insult to injury, because of you I viewed all my quirks, my missteps and my messy genius as things to be shamed for instead of as things that should be celebrated. I felt shame for not being married, not having children yet and not checking off all those things I was supposed to have by certain ages. I once had someone casually say to me, “If you don’t get married soon people are going to start to think something’s wrong with you”. Because of you perfection I let those words sink into my core and I accepted them as truth.
I wish I could say that I’ve always been one of those people who didn’t care what others thought or what society deemed acceptable, but that would be a lie. I spent years twisting myself into knots, trying to be someone that would make me more accepted, interesting and likeable by other people. I was so focused on being who I thought I was supposed to be that I honestly couldn’t tell you who I actually was.
As I write this letter, I am 39 years old, and I have honestly had enough. I appreciate all that you have given me but you are toxic and exhausting. I will never be enough for you perfection, I know this because you remind me on a regular basis that me being me is not acceptable.
It took some tears and some years to get to the place I am now, but I am finally ready to let you go. I no longer care what others think of me or my choices and that is a level of freedom that I have no intention of letting go. I am excited to live a life where I am sometimes a mess. I look forward to embracing my back rolls, shutting down my work computer on the weekends and saying no when I don’t whole heartedly want to say yes. I would be lying if I wasn’t a little afraid to live my life without you keeping me “safe” but I trust that I am making the right decision for myself. I will always be a perfectionist, but I am now in recovery. I will no longer let you control my life. Bye Perfection!
"PERFECTION IS FOR BASIC B*TCHES"
-Crystal Love, PERFECTAHOLIC Founder
THREE REASONS YOU MIGHT BE A PERFECTIONIST
JOIN THE MOVEMENT
LET GO OF THE UNHEALTHY EFFECTS OF PERFECTIONISM!
IT'S AS SIMPLE AS 1, 2, 3
JOIN THE MOVEMENT of Recovering Perfectionists TODAY! We are a collection of vibrant women letting go of the idea of perfection. By sharing our truth and willingness to color outside the lines, we are giving ourselves permission to be a little less “perfect”. We are relinquishing the need to control and fix everything, and improving the lives of ourselves and those around us by modeling authenticity and acceptance of our flaws.
OUR MANIFESTO: WHAT WE BELIEVE
PERFECTAHOLIC HELPS WOMEN LET GO OF PERFECTIONAND EMBRACE THE BEAUTY OF AN IMPERFECT LIFE
YOU CAN EITHER BE PERFECT
OR PRESENT, BUT NOT BOTH
LETTING GO OF PERFECTION
IS AN ACT OF SELF-LOVE
WHEN YOU STOP SEEKING PERFECTION, YOU FIND TRUE BEAUTY
NOBODY IS PERFECT, N-O-B-O-D-Y
HELLO GOOD LIFE
IT MAY NOT BE PERFECT, BUT A GOOD LIFE IS THE BEST LIFE
HELLO GOOD LIFE
THERE IS POWER IN LETTING
LIFE SURPRISE YOU
HELLO GOOD LIFE
SHIFTING FROM “WHAT IF” TO
“EVEN IF” IS LIFE-CHANGING
HELLO GOOD LIFE
ACCEPTING YOUR FLAWS IS
CONTAGIOUS… PASS IT ON
“Perfection is for basic bitches.”
-Crystal Love, Founder, Perfectaholic
"Perfectionism rarely begets perfection, or satisfaction - only disappointment."
"I think the perfection of love is that it's not perfect."
“You'll end up living a lonely life if you're waiting around for perfect.”
-Samantha Young, Before Jamaica Lane
“...you don't have to be perfect to be pretty”
"I think what makes people fascinating is conflict, it's drama, it's the human condition. Nobody wants to watch perfection."
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